Fight or Flight
by Moon's-Wing
Summary: Lavi looks for Allen after the battle on the ark. Normally, he'd let his friend have his time alone, but the amount of time he's taking is getting worrying.


The only place left to check was the roof, but Lavi couldn't fathom why Allen would be there. Although, he admitted to himself, he usually had trouble following Allen's thought process when he wasn't in battle. They all had been through an ordeal, but even after they recovered in the hospital wing, his friend had been disappearing every chance he got- and Allen was a lot sneakier than even those that knew him had been giving him credit for. So Two Spot didn't stand a chance. In the past, though, it had always been to go to the cafeteria, and he wasn't there.

Lavi didn't know if anyone had noticed either of them missing yet, but he hoped he still had some time. Something was clearly bothering Allen, and… he was worried.

Oh, here he was. Fighting an invisible enemy, no Innocence activated, just good old fists and feet. Sounded like fun. He moved around the other teen, capturing his fist at one punch to get his attention. "Want a partner?" he smiled.

Allen turned away; no smile, not even a fake one. Was he that tired? "Listen, Allen, if you're still pissed about earlier, on the ark-"

The white head turned to him, confusion deep. "What?"

"I mean, that thing with Road, beating the hell out of you, and you still-"

"I was never angry about that." And the look on his face said the redhead was an idiot for thinking he was.

True, it wasn't like Allen, but… "Then what is it? You've been keeping me at arm's length since we got back."

"Honestly… I have to go, Lavi, just-" The younger teen tried to turn away, but his friend took hold of his wrist. "Let me go."

"No. Tell me what's going on with you. Talk to me. We're friends, aren't we?"

Allen snapped his arm back. He didn't look at Lavi. "And that's exactly the problem."

"What the hell are you on about?"

"Give me an akuma," came the soft mumble with an unhumored laugh. "Any level. Any Noah. All of them. The earl. Anything but this."

Okay, now he was getting scary. "Allen, come on, please."

"Why can't you just get offended and go away?!" he finally snapped, furious eyes immediately softening at the other's confused expression.

"Offended? You are trying to push me away, but knowing you, it's some well-intentioned but misguided attempt at helping me."

"It's not misguided."

"Fine, then. Tell me why it's so important I stay away from you."

"No. Never. I…" He dared look into those concerned green eyes again. "I couldn't stand it if you… Please, don't make me do this."

"You couldn't stand it if I what?" the other asked, daring a few steps closer.

Allen took a large step back, head down again.

"Okay, okay; I'll stay here." The other replied, trying to smile reassuringly. If it wasn't the whole mind-control thing, the two of them having to fight each other, that was weighing on the other, Lavi had no idea what could possibly be forcing his friend to-

 _'We're friends.'_

 _'That's the problem.'_

Allen worded it that way intentionally, hoping push himself further way. But also, it had to be true, at least to a point. In what situation is being friends a problem? Allen kept everyone at a distance, friendly but spent most of his time alone. Could he just be wary of getting closer to another person? Considering his past, that would be-

Oh! Oh. That would explain everything, but if he was wrong… if he was wrong… "I think I got it," he spoke, walking closer again, taking the younger exorcist's wrist again before he got too far. "If I'm right, I have to say I'm flattered. If I'm wrong, well, I hope you forgive me."

At the request, Allen looked up, now confused himself. Lavi took the opportunity to pull him close- and for a kiss.

There was warmth for a half-second, then it was gone. "Okay, so I was wrong, but-" Allen had pulled away, and the look on his face was definitely horror, but Lavi was getting the distinct impression it had very little to do with himself. "Allen?"

"How could you possibly want any part of the mess that's my life?" came the mortified question. "Could you, anyone, possibly want…?"

"Want what?"

Gray eyes looked up, tears streaking his cheeks. "Me."

The redhead couldn't believe what he was hearing. The gender thing wasn't the problem, it was… How could Allen think so little of himself? All they'd done together, all he'd done on his own, and he still didn't think himself worth affection? "Someone with as much to give as you? How could I not?"

"As much to give?" the younger exorcist repeated, features contorted in disgust. "I'm no one. Nothing. No one in their right mind could ever want me around."

"How can you say that when there's so many people who care about you?"

"Only because of what I can do for them. My life has taught me one thing, Lavi, and it's that the only thing I'm for is to be a scapegoat. A sacrifice."

Lavi pulled him into a hug, horrified by the words. Allen was shaking. "None of us think of you that way. Not Lenalee, Krory, Komui, and least of all me. You're someone so dear and important it's literally killing me to hear you talk about yourself like that. If nothing else, Allen, please hear what I'm saying. Please."

"…But it's all lies," the tone returned, void of any emotion.

"No, Allen, no," Lavi insisted, pulling away just enough to catch the younger teen's eye. "I have been all over everywhere since I was a kid. Almost constantly traveling, and I can assure you that a kinder, more compassionate heart than yours does not exist. You burn so brightly, and in spite of all this pain you're carrying. That's the exact opposite of worthless. And Allen, if I'd known you thought so little of yourself, I would've told you so much sooner."

He didn't reply.

"Allen. When Tyki destroyed your arm, were you abandoned?"

"B-Bak-san tried talking to me about helping the Order in other ways. He said he wanted to see if my resolve was strong enough to continue being an exorcist, didn't tell me my Innocence was still around."

Lavi smiled. "And of course it was. I know we had to keep going, but we were waiting for you to show up the whole time. We knew you'd join us as soon as you were ready."

A choked sob left the other's throat, fingers clinging to the bandana still hanging around the redhead's neck. "E-Even if you're lying," the soft voice came. "Don't stop."

"I'm not lying, but I'll never stop," he promised, and dared press his lips against the trembling pair again. This time, Allen didn't pull away, but he wasn't exactly kissing back, either. He was just taking whatever affection he could get.

How heartbreaking.

Gently, Lavi pressed a hand to the side of the other's jaw, urging it to open. Allen followed the cue, and wrapped his arms more securely around the taller male.

They stayed up there awhile, neither keeping track of the time, but when the rain started picking up, decided it was probably time to go back in. When they started encountering people again, the fingers the white-haired teen had entwined with the bookman's own started to pull away, but Lavi held to them tightly. Allen looked cautiously surprised, but didn't object further. "You don't have anywhere you have to be?" came the timid question.

"Bookman agreed to stay off my case for the night, very magnanimous. Thought we'd get some food?"

"I definitely like that idea. I'm starving."

Allen kept up his cheery persona while they had dinner with everyone, and a nice long dinner it was. When Allen stated that he'd had enough of Kanda and was going back up to his room, Lavi asked if he could come with him. The other was surprised and a little flushed, but agreed.

The bookman was impressed there still hadn't been any sign of Two Spot, but Allen didn't seem to notice, or was just enjoying the lack of the blonde man's presence. Lavi decided to go with that too.

"What are you… expecting?" Allen's soft tone cut through the silent hallway as they approached their destination.

"Expecting?" Lavi repeated, lip curling in distaste. "Nothing. I just wanted to stay with you longer. I understand if you want time alone-"

"No, that's not what I meant. I just… like to know what happening."

The redhead stopped, and since his fingers were connected to Allen's, he stopped too. "Whatever you want," he spoke once he had the other teen's attention.

The younger of them bit his lip, other hand on his door. "I… liked kissing you," he admitted with a flush.

Lavi grinned, leaning close again. "I liked kissing you too."

Allen pulled him into the room. He was still unsure, still a little shaky, but Lavi pulled him close with a reassuring smile, and captured those lips again. A soft moan elicited from his partner, and a bright flush followed immediately after; the redhead smiled and pulled him in again. A little further back this time, he sitting on the mattress while Allen straddled his lap, and didn't seem to be minding it.

"Okay if I start exploring a little?" Allen stalled, and Lavi realized the other had no idea what he meant. "That is…" he trailed, mouthing down that pale neck, hands finding their way into the loose-fitting clothes.

His breathing hitched. "So okay," he breathed.

So Lavi went exploring. He was eager to know every inch of Allen's lithe form, and as his hands grazed the paler tone, every inch was committed to memory. He never loved his ability to instantly remember everything more. His skin's warmth, the rough feel, the wanting moans that never seemed to end… The bookman was drowning and he never wanted to stop.

Allen seemed to be in about the same state, clinging close and darkly flushed; the redhead watched him almost a full minute to be sure he got every detail. "L-Lavi…"

"Enjoying yourself?"

"So much… Lavi, I'm-I'm so hot… but… it's good."

"Let me know if that changes."

"Okay…"

The older teen pulled him into another kiss, unbuttoning and pulling at all remaining clothing- and his partner seemed happy to help, straddling his lap again the moment nothing was hidden from each other. Lavi kneaded those strong, pale thighs, slowly working his way up to the other's hips.

Allen called out unabashedly, and he congratulated himself for bringing the other so far along- there wasn't another thing on that over-thinking, over-worrying mind and Lavi called that a personal best. Biting down on his partner's pale neck, he let his hands work around the narrow waist to the other's rear, tongue lapping his pulse point.

After awhile though, those cute little whimpers weren't becoming anything else, and the white-haired male's face was still tightly scrunched together. "Allen," Lavi spoke calmly. "Am I hurting you?"

"No."

He sounded scared. "But you don't like it, do you?"

"…Trying to. I'm sorry."

'You have nothing to apologize for," the redhead assured him, withdrawing. "There's lots of people that don't like having sex."

That white mop shot up at attention, gray eyes wide. "There are?!"

The bookman chuckled. "Sure are. Being with someone doesn't mean you have to be having sex."

"I liked kissing you. A lot. Just… after that…"

"I was pretty fond of that part myself. Care to pick that up again?"

"Yeah. And I didn't mind you touching me, just…"

"Not like that?"

"Yeah."

"All right," the redhead replied, and leaned in to take the other's lips for his own again. The smaller body melted against his own again, and he was happy to hold the younger teen tightly. Soon, Allen was moaning and making soft cries again, and this time, Lavi could see the erection stiff against his stomach. "Good God, look at you," was the appreciative mumble.

"Good thing?" was the coy reply.

"Very good thing. Come a little closer, okay?"

"Closer?" He clearly didn't think that was possible.

"Yeah. Just a bit more."

Allen managed to push himself right against his partner, a light whimper leaving him when he felt the other's warmth against his own. One hand brought the white-haired teen into a kiss, the other wrapped their lengths together, pumping them in unison. "God, Lavi…"

He took the moan as encouragement, continuing to move while his partner balanced by clinging to his shoulders, still crying out and trying to thrust on his own. "You're close already, aren't you?"

"I-I'm s-"

"Don't you be; let me see you let go." Not a second after the words left his mouth, Allen did, a strangled, borderline painful call leaving him as enough fluid to coat both their lengths, the redhead's hand, and make a sizeable spot on the mattress left him before slumping forward on the taller body. "Well, that was sixteen years of repression, wasn't it?"

There was a weak nod against his neck. "What… 'bout you?"

"Just stay close to me, okay?"

Another nod. Lavi moved to grip himself completely, other arms still holding on to the shorter male, nose buried in white strands. The added warmth of the fluid helped him along, feeling himself coming much sooner than he normally would. "Y-es," he breathed, adding to the mess between them. He turned to give Allen another kiss, but found he was already out cold.

"It was a long night, wasn't it?" he chuckled. "A good one though, I hope. Guess we'll clean up later, huh?" was the add, easing them back.

But the air was quickly growing chilly. And they were laying on the blankets. Using coordination he hadn't realized he'd possessed, he pulled at the opposite side of the thick blanket, then managed to gently roll Allen over onto the mattress and pull the blanket back over him before curling under himself. Belatedly, he realized they were both covered in cum and that would be super gross very soon, but then Allen curled closer to him. "You still out?" he asked the other. No response. "Good. You need sleep like a man lost in the desert needs water."

Allen nuzzled him.

"Too cute, seriously."

The room's door opened. Link came through, looking at some papers, but stilled at the sight of the two exorcists.

"You got a problem, Two-Spot?"

"…Tell me this hasn't been going on all this time and I didn't notice."

Lavi was tempted to screw with him, but replied, "No. First time. Was kind of surprised you let Allen on his own awhile."

"Allen himself is the furthest thing from a threat, and you'll be glad to know that if it doesn't pertain to the Fourteenth, I don't care what you two do together. At this point, it's mostly while he's fighting that I wonder at something happening."

"Not to mention I told you to fuck off a few hours," Allen mumbled, startling the bookman.

"He talks in his sleep," the inspector explained.

"Which, of course, you take advantage of."

"If I didn't, you two wouldn't have gotten your time alone."

"You're a dick, Link," the white-haired male groggily spoke again.

"You're still stuck with me," the blond bit back. "I'll be just outside. Once he finally passes out, he's out for a good while."

"In that case, before you go," Lavi asked before the other made is way back out the door. "You got a book I can flip through till I pass out too?"

"Any book?"

"Any book."

Link went back out into the sitting room, then came back with what looked like a small novel. "Here. You should be more familiar with them anyway."

"Rules and Regulations," Lavi deadpanned. "I hate you, too."

"If nothing else, it'll definitely put you to sleep," the blond spoke on his way out again. "Believe me."

* * *

When Allen woke, the first thing he felt was warmth. More warmth than would come from just being under the blanket. Someone breathing.

Oh.

Lavi. That was right. The redhead was asleep for the moment, laying back with an open book across his chest, and the younger teen found under his lover's arm very comfortable- until he shifted.

Looking under the blanket, he found a mess easily summed up in one word- gross. "And… I passed out before he… Now I just feel awful," he mumbled.

"Don't," Lavi spoke, pulling him close again, still appearing asleep.

"Sorry if I woke you."

"Nah. I'm not completely out, still kinda teetering. Suppose we should clean up."

"That's a really good idea, but I don't want to make you move."

The green eye opened. "No worries. I'd really like to clean-up too, though."

"Um, then what?"

"I dunno. Back to sleep? Oh, wait, you hungry? I wouldn't be surprised."

"Good guess," Allen agreed. "I definitely like that plan."


End file.
